Lately I have been reading some strangers blog. Yes I am a blog stalker. :-) But she is great. She says things I think, but expresses them so much better. She is a mother of 5 kids between the ages of 13 and 5. The other day she was talking about her life being in balance or the lack there of. BOY! Do I know that feelings! She at first thought of balance in respect to a scale. She says and I quote...
"And here’s the problem. If I use scales to measure my life, I have to weigh the pieces against each other, and I’m forever choosing sides. I spend time with my kids at the cost of time with my husband. I sweep my floor at the cost of writing a letter to a friend. The merest breath can cause the scales to shiver, not to mention the mini-hurricanes that are my children, and I live in fear of the see-saw, that I will either rocket off the top on a trajectory I can’t sustain or thud to the bottom when it all falls off the other end. No matter what I do with a balance system, I’m left feeling like a thief, stealing the pieces back and forth and always coming up wanting."
Instead she has decided her life is a pendulum. Wild swinging side to side but always... always coming back to the center. A pendulum is meant to move. It doesn’t require you to hold your breath and or stay still as a statue to find your center. I like that. My life is a constant pendulum. You never know from one minute to the next how far it will swing out, but if I can find my center then I can have faith that no matter what I have my center. That no matter what my pendulum swing will find my center. some times it might just pass through, sometimes the swings my stay pretty close to center, sometimes not so much. But no matter what it will find the center.
So then what is my center? I know your first response is Family. But no I don't think so. People my family is my pendulum swing!! They are what keeps the darn thing moving. I want my center to be quiet and peaceful. A place where I can re-group, find focus. My rock. Never faultering. It must have arms to wrap me up when I want it, a stern voice to push me when I need it and a never ending supply of wings to help me fly. Sounds Magical I know.
I'm sure I'll find it. Maybe it is with all those lost socks that mysteriously disappear in the washer. :-)
2 comments:
Hi Tracie! I check your blog now and then hoping for pictures of your kids etc. When I read this post about the pendulum I nearly screamed because that "5 Kids" blog is by my friend Beth, here in Newberg. I really enjoy her writing. I was just curious how you found her blog and started reading it from so far away. It was nice to read back on a few of your posts and get updates on all your kids. We're doing the "senior" thing with Jered too. It is all coming too fast. Elsie is in 8th grade and very ready to move on to high school next year. Hugs from all our family to yours! --Katrina
Hey Katrina.
Too funny. I was blog stalking Tanya :-) and found her blog. I'll post pictures soon. I promise. Yikes!! Can you believe these kids are Seniors???!!!
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