What????

It is now Jan 6th 2012 and I believe I have experienced every emotion possible times 1000 in these short 6 days of 2012. I have went from a deep deep valley to a high mountain and then by Wednesday I started to plateau into my nice comfortable state of "just get me through the day with a smile and everything will be fine" routine. And then Thursday arrived... I was at work doing my thing, taking breaks to check out facebook when the first post arrived. It was from a friend of mine. We went to school together. She helped me through some dark times during Dana's sickness and death. Her post.... "until we meet again my love". Ugh! Her husband died in his sleep at the age of 38. The next blog I read is a prayer to my cousin's 17 year old daughter. She had to abort her 12 week baby because she has a heart condition that if she carried the baby full term she would die herself. The last and final time I checked facebook yesterday I saw a post from my niece and how they were taking her 3 month old daughter to a specialist and was praying for answers. To what questions I didn't know.

So in my "it's a New Year, let's get a grip on Life" mentality I went searching today for inspiration, for insight, for perspective. I don't know maybe I was looking for a blog titled. "Tracie this is your life and here are the steps to live it happily and productively". What I found was alot I mean ALOT of dispair. From children being still born, to only living until they were 5, to a parent struggling with learning her child has learning disabilities. So now I am sitting here thinking "Well, that worked... NOT! Now what should I do." For some strange odd reason this keeps coming to my mind.

The other day when Ashlie was home for Christmas she was watching Evan Almighty. The show was almost over but when I walked into the room she rewinded it almost the beginning so I could hear one part of it.

GOD: Let me ask you something. If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient? If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage, or does he give him opportunities to be courageous? If someone prayed for the family to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings, or does he give them opportunities to love each other?

As I ponder this I have two thoughts
My immediate reaction is "Who the ?$%# is praying for me or what the $%^# have I been praying for because I am pretty much done with all the "OPPORTUNITES" that have been given to me lately".

My next reaction is "Hmmm? I wonder what God is trying to teach me. I wonder what I can learn from these first 6 days of 2012 and turn it into the most loved-filled, happy, enlightening journey of my life"

And what am I going to do?? Eat... No really.. It is past lunch time and I am hungry. Maybe food will give me the insight and inspiration I am looking for. LOL :-)